Sunday, December 30, 2007
Sports
Crystal ballin’
A local veteran’s predictions for ’08
Supermodel Gisele Bundchen—the deciding factor in the ’08 Super Bowl?
CREDIT: Kristian Dowling/Getty Images
By Stu Klitenic
My editor at The Sunday Paper, in his infinite wisdom, has asked for my 2008 sports prognostications. I’m not sure, but in my honest opinion, I think I was assigned the piece because everyone else was on holiday vacation. Regardless, here we go.
First off all, I realize that if you have a decent New Year’s Eve/Day, this will all be forgotten by noon on Jan. 2. But have no fear, I will hold myself accountable. Let’s start with Arthur Blank. Last time someone was turned down this much was when I was trying to get a date for my senior prom. After saying no to DeAngelo Hall’s bid to be player/coach, Blank states that sometimes your fifth choices are the best choices, and he gets his men. He promises the Falcons will return to the good old days, and they do so by going 5-11.
Quick bowl predictions: In the Sugar, Georgia “holds” Hawaii to 38 points, beating them by six. Tennessee covers the field goal against Wisconsin in the Outback. Missouri beats Arkansas in the Cotton, and afterwards Bobby Petrino holds a press conference confirming that despite the loss, he’s committed to at least half of the coming season. The Gators beat Michigan in Orlando, but the Wolverines play inspiringly in Lloyd Carr’s finale and stay inside the 10½. Southern Cal blows out Illinois in the Rose. And in the upset special (ta-da!), Ohio State edges LSU for the national title in the Big Easy.
Oh, and next year’s national title game? It’s the one some wanted this year—Southern Cal vs. Georgia, with Mark Richt winning the championship. In his first year at Tech, Paul Johnson puts together an exciting offense, and the defense remains as aggressive and effective as it was under Jon Tenuta. Look for the Jackets to win seven regular-season games.
It’s Dallas against New England in the Super Bowl. Jessica Simpson sings the national anthem, forgets the words and blames it on Tony Romo for being a distraction. But it’s Romo who can’t take his eyes off of Tom Brady’s girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen, and throws three picks as the Patriots cap a perfect season with a 31-17 win.
In college hoops, Paul Hewitt’s Yellow Jackets advance to the quarterfinals—of the NIT. Georgia? Not so fortunate. For the Final Four, let’s go with Memphis, Georgetown, Kansas and North Carolina, with the Tar Heels cutting the nets in San Antonio.
Are you sitting down? Maybe you should, because the Atlanta Hawks are playoff bound! And are quickly swept out in four games. Shortly afterwards, one of the team’s 17 owners declares how proud he is of the team as he enters the courtroom for yet another round of litigation to determine who really owns the franchise. In the finals, some songs don’t change, as the Spurs take down the Pistons. And the league’s MVP will be Boston’s Kevin Garnett.
Oh, and the WNBA arrives in Atlanta with a huge splash—and very few wins. Be patient. Be very patient.
After a slump following the NHL All-Star Game at Philips Arena, Thrashers Executive Vice President/General Manager/Interim Head Coach Don Waddell calls himself into his office and fires himself as coach, afterwards telling the media it was one of the toughest conversations he’s ever had with himself. Assistant coach Steve Weeks takes over and leads the team to a first-ever franchise playoff series victory. In the end, it’s the Red Wings over the Senators for Lord Stanley’s Cup.
The Braves open spring training with renewed hope and a starting rotation with an average age just under that of the Supreme Court’s. Despite having a pair of pitchers, Smoltzie and Glavine, who play in an old-timers game that same year, the Braves, behind the power of Chipper, Francoeur and Teixeira, win the N.L. East. But the Braves bow out to Joe Torre, Andruw Jones and the Dodgers, who in turn ultimately fall to the Tigers in the Fall Classic.
In other baseball news, a 165-pound Barry Bonds belts his fifth homer of the year on the same late August day that Alex Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia announce their intention to divorce. Mrs. A-Rod retains Scott Boras as her divorce attorney and ultimately gains $5 million a year in alimony—and dating rights to Derek Jeter.
Well there you go. Just a few thoughts on what to expect in what should be a calendar year full of fun and unpredictability. Isn’t that why we love sports? Here’s wishing you all a safe and happy new year. SP