Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sports, "Hunt's Grunts"

Lola Blue to the rescue

I’ve been in a funk lately..

I’ve been in a funk lately. A few days ago, my friend Brandolyn said I should try writing about sports in my column and stop being such a jerk. That same day, the Braves lost to the Phillies. The next day, I watched the Belmont Stakes with a bunch of strangers. The Braves lost that day, too. Then I lost my keys. That day, the Braves lost to the Cubs, and the Celtics lost to the Lakers. I took a walk in Piedmont Park.

So I told my friend Lola Blue that I was grouchy and I had no ideas for a column, and she offered to write it instead. I still haven’t found either sets of keys, but my friend Crystal said she would karaoke “Islands in the Stream” with me if I wanted. Later, Lola turned in the following, and I promised I would do something nice for her in return. Hopefully next week, I’ll have a clue. And my keys. Happy times!—Hunt Archbold

What Can Brown Do For You?

It was hot, packed and sweaty at the Taco Mac in Virginia Highland. Standing dangerously close to some other couple’s table, I couldn’t help but notice some golden French Fries lingering on a plate. On the big-screen TV, cameras panned the crowd at Belmont Park, looking eagerly toward the starting gates. It was a New York City, all-American crowd, without the hats and the pomp and circumstance one might find in, say, Kentucky.

Most of the sunburned, drunken crowd at the restaurant cheered for Big Brown—the fastest colt in the field by far. But out of habit and out of a disdain for following crowds, I chose the underdog, which I knew was not terribly wise since Big Brown had already won the Kentucky Derby and the  Preakness. A few minutes later, the horses were off and a little over two minutes later … well, you know how this story ends.

The cameras registered the motley crowd, looking disappointed in the fact that it’s been 30 years since a thoroughbred has donned that prestigious title and another one bites the dust. But what about the winner? Big Brown didn’t win but what about the horse and jockey who actually did? Where was the love for the 38-1 long shot who actually won the Belmont Stakes?

I get it. Most people wanted to see Big Brown take home the Triple Crown and instead of winning, the previously undefeated horse finished flat last. But couldn’t the cameras have given the winner of the longest of the Triple Crown events a few early seconds of recognition?

There are plenty of examples in sports where the loser gets more focus than the winner. This year’s Super Bowl comes to mind: a game just as much about the Patriots’ losing as it was about the Giants winning. It was practically a done deal that the perfect Pats would easily dominate their foes; they’d had a perfect season, and the Giants were the underdog even though they fared well in the playoffs. Negatori on that one, Ghost Rider.

Two minutes into the television coverage … three minutes … still no camera shot of the winning horse. The announcers say his name, but I’m watching television to see the action. Where is he? My eyes toggled from the French Fries slowly being eaten off the plate and back to the screen in hopes of a glimpse of the horse who had the stamina, and experience to win the race. “Isn’t this a bit odd? Shouldn’t we have seen the winning horse by now?” I asked my cohort, Fulton. He agreed: Yes, we should have.

Almost four minutes and still no sign of the winner. The French Fries on the couple’s plate were long gone. So I left, hungry and mildly disappointed that I never got to see the champion. I suppose I could have stuck around to see Big Brown’s outspoken trainer hopefully eat crow for his comments at the beginning of the race, or I could have stared longer at the screen for the Where’s Waldo horse. Then again, I never have been good at finding the hidden pictures at the mall. By and by, congratulations to Da’ Tara—you know, the horse that actually won the Belmont Stakes.—Lola Blue