The Sunday Paper Staff Blog

Adam Sandler is 42 on Sept. 9. We are hereby boycotting his films until he stops finding work for Rob Schneider.

Conservative pundit and loofah enthusiast Bill O’Reilly is 59 on Sept. 10. We hear if you prick him with a pin, only hot air will come out.

O’Reilly’s arch-nemesis, Atlanta’s own rapping/acting powerhouse Chris “Ludacris” Bridges (pictured), is 31 on Sept. 11.

The beautiful Virginia Madsen is 47 on Sept. 11. You’ve come a long way from “Highlander II: The Quickening,” baby.

Atlanta-based country music star Jennifer Nettles is 34 on Sept. 12. And to think we knew her back in the day.

“Death Race” star Jason Statham is 36 on Sept. 12. Are we the only ones totally pumped for “Transporter 3”?

Yet another Atlanta superstar celebrates a birthday this week: Media mogul Tyler Perry is 39 on Sept. 13.

Photo: Spark St. Jude

Usher Raymond may be happily married and a proud father, but that doesn’t mean the Grammy-winning R&B singer isn’t up for a one-night stand with a few thousand willing fans. In a recent interview with the Associated Press, Usher revealed that he’s planning a special ladies-only “One Night Stand” tour that would take place at smaller, intimate venues.

“I feel like I’ve had such a connection with my audience,” the renowned ladies’ man said, presumably referring to his onstage relationship with his fans, as opposed to the ones formed backstage, in limousines and in hotel rooms during his single-guy heyday. In the interview, Usher discussed his sex-symbol status, remarking that “the ladies like to see that masculine build. They question if I still got it.” (Women aren’t the only ones wondering if Usher’s “still got it,” given the relatively modest performance of his latest CD, “Here I Stand.”)

Final details for the tour haven’t yet been disclosed, although we have to believe that the stage set-up will include candles, casual lighting, a heart-shaped bed and perhaps an Al Green CD to set the mood.

Photo: Spark St. Jude

“Rush Hour 3” thespian and Atlanta native Chris Tucker is 36 on Aug. 31. We hear he’ll celebrate the occasion by dropping out of sight. Oh, wait, he’s already done that.

Richard Gere is 59 on Aug. 31. Respected actor, personal friend of the Dalai Lama, and still the guy’s as exciting as wet cardboard.

Life guru, television show host and professional windbag Phil McGraw (aka Dr. Phil) is 58 on Sept. 1.

An inspiration to wooden, monotone actors everywhere, “Matrix” action hero Keanu Reeves (pictured) is 44 on Sept. 2.

Father-to-be and all-around role model Charlie Sheen is 43 on Sept. 3. What if he were still a movie star, and Robert Downey Jr. was stuck in sitcom purgatory?

Beyoncé Knowles is 27 on Sept. 4. What do you get for a girl who has everything? Maybe hubbie Jay-Z will buy her a small country.

Atlanta native Jeff Foxworthy is 50 on Sept. 6. Is he smarter than a fifth-grader? Dude got filthy rich making fun of his own people—what do you think?

Photo: Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images

The first Monday in September was originally set aside as a day off for working stiffs. But that one day has long since morphed into the extravaganza we know and love as LABOR DAY WEEKEND. As befits its status as the undisputed big daddy of holiday weekends, the coming three-day (or more) blowout offers Atlantans a number of ways to commemorate the end of summer in style. Here are our favorites:

With two days of movies, killer tunes, a bitchin’ car show, overnight camping and the mother of all tailgate parties, DRIVE INVASION has staked an undisputable claim as the ATL’s premier hipster celebration. This year’s event includes comedy (“Blazing Saddles,” “Kentucky Fried Movie”) and sci-fi classics (“Barbarella,” “Forbidden Planet”), as well as Th’ Legendary Shack Shakers, the Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash and Atlanta garage-rockers the Forty-Fives. Saturday and Sunday at the Starlight Six Drive-In. www.driveinvasion.com.

Now in its third year, the DECATUR BOOK FESTIVAL has grown into a nationally recognized feather in the city’s cap (the fact that the fest’s daily-paper sponsor covers books now mostly as an afterthought is just a delightfully ironic bonus). This year’s impressive roster of national and local names includes Billy Collins (Friday’s keynote speaker), Pearl Cleage, Rick Bragg, Eric Jerome Dickey, Karin Slaughter, Elizabeth Dewberry and Roy Blount Jr., as well as a closing concert by Patterson Hood of the Drive-By Truckers on Sunday. For complete schedules and other information: www.decaturbookfestival.com.

1. Grant Park Summer Shade Festival: Tastings at Corks & Forks, a 5K race, music (including Geoff Achison, pictured) and lots of fun stuff for the kids. Aug. 30-31 at Grant Park. www.summershade.org.
2. Skirts: Petticoats to Crinoline: Skip the expensive museum thing and scope out some fashion at the Auburn Avenue Research Library, showcasing garments worn by black women from 1887-1950. Through Sept. 22. www.afplweb.com/aarl.
3. Summer Spotlight Cabaret: Atlanta’s Lyric Theatre hosts its final musical cabaret performance of the season Thursday Aug. 28 at 8 p.m., with complimentary wine and nibbles.

He might be raking in millions from his musical artistry, but Jermaine Dupri can't seem to share the wealth with his employees of Café Dupri, which mysteriously shut down last week. “The economy has changed dramatically and people just aren’t eating out as much anymore,” Dupri told AllHipHop.com. “People are cutting back everywhere and a lot of companies, including Café Dupri, are feeling the effect. For the past two months business at the Café has been down and if the business isn’t making money, I feel its a smart move to shut it down. Bottom line: if it doesn't make money, it doesn't make sense.” Employees of the cafe recently appeared on local television station WSB-TV saying they weren't paid for their work after showing up last week and seeing a sign that read, "Thanks for patronizing Café Dupri. We have closed indefinitely." 

“Sweeney Todd” filmmaker Tim Burton is 50 on Aug. 25. We’re just gonna come out and say it: Over. Rated.

Rocker Gene Simmons (pictured) is 59 on Aug. 25. And if you think his KISS makeup is scary, you should see him without it.

Food personality Rachael Ray is 40 on Aug. 26. Is it just us, or does her perpetually perky countenance make Paula Deen look normal by comparison?

Ritalin-deprived comic actor Jack Black is 39 on Aug. 28. When will Oscar finally recognize his talent for portraying one-note, hyperactive man-boys?

Speaking of entertainers who’ll never grow up, Michael Jackson is 50 on Aug. 29. Buy him something nice, won’t you, Bubbles?

“Charlie’s Angels” actress Cameron Diaz is 36 on Aug. 30. Don’t you just get the feeling she’s a royal pain in the rear in real life?

Photo: Dave Etheridge-Barnes/Getty Images 

HEY, I KNOW THAT GUY … You probably know KEVIN POLLAK from his roles in more than 50 films including “The Usual Suspects,” “Casino” and, uh, “Dr. Doolittle 2.” But you might not know him as a comedian and impressionist, known for dead-on takes on Christopher Walken and William Shatner. The actor, writer and producer appears Friday and Saturday at the Punchline for a rare engagement. So what do you need, an engraved invitation? 404-252-5233. www.punchline.com.

THREE GOOD THINGS THE GERMANS GAVE US: And no, we’re not talking about Volkswagens. German food, German music and (best of all) German beer—they’re all waiting for you at the fifth annual GERMAN BIERFEST Saturday afternoon at Woodruff Park. A ticket ($30 in advance, $35 at the door) gets you a sampling glass and all the beer (more than 30 German brews) you can drink. Kids and designated drivers get in free (although no one under 21 will be allowed to drink, of course). There’s also fare from popular local restaurants. It all starts at 2 p.m. Vunderbar! 678-244-1528. www.germanbierfest.com.

BREAK OUT THE ZOLOFT: If you’re a fan of live music and have a hard time making decisions, Saturday night is just plain going to be a problem. Do you rock out to the mildly dangerous, derivative ’90s alterna-rock of the reunited STONE TEMPLE PILOTS at Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre (404-249-6400, www.vzwamp.com)? Do you take things down a couple of notches and mellow out to soft rockers SISTER HAZEL performing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra at Chastain Park Amphitheatre (404-733-4800, www.classicchastain.org)? Or do you opt for a rare appearance by country music living legend LORETTA LYNN at the Cobb Energy Centre (404-249-6400, www.cobbenergycentre.com)? See? We told you it was going to be rough …

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE … So prescribe yourself a heavy dose of frivolity Sunday at the Punchline’s COMEDY FOR A CURE event. Hosted by child cancer survivor Jay Eichelberger, the festivities include headliner Tom Simmons and at least one other comic, as well as a raffle and live auction of such items as an iPod, a Nintendo Wii, sports tickets and a week at a Florida vacation home. All proceeds benefit CURE Childhood Cancer. For more information, call 404-252-5233 or visit www.punchline.com.

“There is no doubt that the new frontier of entertainment is taking place informally on the street,” former Atlanta resident John Mayer (pictured) posted on his blog a couple of weeks back. 

And boy, was he not kidding: After breaking up with his latest flame, Jennifer Aniston (reported by text message, depending on which news outlets you believe), Mayer held an impromptu press conference with a gaggle of paparazzi recently to work out his feelings, although springing for a shrink would have been a lot less embarrassing.

 The pop superstar, never one to be extremely forthright in these matters (did he ever really admit that he was dating Jessica Simpson?), gave a rambling and not very informative discourse, alternately bemoaning the breakup and asserting his role as the breaker-upper. 

As the visibly unsettled Mayer told the throng: “If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody. Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I've ever met. She's one of the most lovely people I've ever met in my life … I ended a relationship to be alone because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right.”

OK, we get it—she’s great, and you dumped her. “Say what you need to say,” indeed …

Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images